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Escaping The Dark Grip

conversations mindmastery thegreatgaslights Jul 26, 2023

The term "narcissism" is thrown around quite loosely, often used to label someone who is self-centred or selfish. But what does it really mean to be a narcissist? To delve into this topic, we have the privilege of being joined by esteemed psychotherapist, D. U. Sivri, whose niche interest lies in understanding narcissism. Let's embark on a journey to comprehend this complex personality trait and explore its origins, traits, and impact on individuals and society.

Origins of Narcissism:

The term "narcissism" finds its roots in Greek mythology, with the tale of Narcissus, a character who fell in love with his own reflection. From this ancient myth sprouted the modern psychological concept of narcissism. It is crucial to distinguish between casual use and the psychological diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is characterised by nine distinct traits, and a person must exhibit at least five of these to be diagnosed.

The Traits of Narcissism:

D. U. Sivri walks us through the different facets of narcissism:

  • Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to empathise with others and understand their emotions, as their focus remains centred on themselves.
  • Manipulative Behaviour: They engage in manipulative tactics to achieve their desires, often using others as pawns in their quest for control.
  • Entitlement: Narcissists believe they are superior and deserve special treatment, which can lead to a sense of entitlement in various aspects of life.
  • Need for Admiration: Constantly seeking admiration and attention from others, narcissists crave admiration to reinforce their grandiose self-image.
  • Grandiose Gestures: They exhibit a tendency to lead grandiose lifestyles, indulging in extravagant pursuits to assert their perceived importance.

Different Types of Narcissism:

While narcissism is often associated with overt and brash behaviour, there are several types of narcissists:

  • Overt Narcissists: The classic narcissists who are selfish, self-serving, and often loud in their pursuit of self-importance.
  • Covert Narcissists: More understated, these individuals harbour deep insecurities and manipulate situations from behind the scenes.
  • Antagonistic Narcissists: Highly argumentative and competitive, they thrive on being number one in all aspects of life.
  • Communal Narcissists: Portrayed as kind and generous, they engage in altruistic acts only to garner praise and attention.
  • Malignant Narcissists: The most dangerous type, they take pleasure in hurting others and lack empathy to an extreme degree.

The Impact of Narcissism:

Understanding the origins and traits of narcissism allows us to grasp its impact on individuals and society.

Narcissists struggle with distorted self-love, believing they are flawless and above reproach. This lack of self-awareness can lead to destructive behaviour and unstable relationships. Their obsessive nature drives them to prioritise their desires, often at the expense of others.

The Link to Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic frequently used by narcissists. The term originated from a 1938 film, "Gaslight," where a husband tries to drive his wife insane by denying reality and manipulating her perceptions. Narcissists, being highly intelligent, can quickly identify others' vulnerabilities and exploit them through gaslighting, leaving the victim questioning their own sanity.

Can Narcissism Be Traced to Childhood?

There are two theories about the development of narcissistic personality disorder. Some argue that overindulgence and entitlement in childhood contribute to its development, while others believe that neglect and lack of love drive individuals to seek constant attention and admiration as adults.

Both paths lead to the same destination—a distorted and imbalanced perspective on life.


Narcissism is a multifaceted and complex personality trait that goes beyond the casual use of the term in daily conversations. Understanding the traits and types of narcissism allows us to recognise the impact it can have on individuals and society at large. While some may possess narcissistic traits without it becoming problematic, those with narcissistic personality disorder require professional intervention to foster self-awareness and emotional growth. As we continue to explore the intricacies of human behaviour, let us strive to build healthier relationships and a more empathetic society.

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Books written by D.U

The Health-prenuers Guide

Coming Soon!

I'm on an exciting journey with my book, taking it back to the good old days when books were served up in newspapers, piece by piece. I'm crafting circa 500 words a day and sharing it with all of you.

Now, this book is for you if you've ever had a brilliant idea or a vision for your own healthcare business or perhaps you want to revitalise your existing service, but you're stuck, not sure how to confirm if there's a market for your idea or how to bring your vision to life.

Let's embark on this journey together